Gobble Gobble Motherfucker

I like Christmas as much as the next guy that married into the holiday only to realize that it was 100x better than what he had been celebrating previously.  With that being said, I hate the fact that every year the Christmas season seems to start earlier and earlier.  I hate it even more so because of my love of Thanksgiving which is completely overshadowed by mistletoe and midgets in pointy shoes (elves if you want to be PC).

Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday, a holiday of good food, family and football. The only way you could possible dislike this holiday is if your ancestors were systematically slaughtered and relegated to reservations, but even on the first Thanksgiving we all got along, right?  Sadly, Thanksgiving seems to have been relegated to the Phantom Menace to Christmas' Empire Strikes Back, a sad prequel to awesomeness. 

When I was a child Christmas didn't get into full swing until the fat man bringing up the rear at the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade Ho Ho Ho'd.  Now I saw my first Christmas commercial November 1st.  It's too soon!  Every holiday must have its time in the sun.  How can we as a nation be so ready to overlook a holiday that encourages sitting on the couch with your pants undone, because you ate so much food, with a beer in your hand watching football? 

It is an outrage and I will not take this lying down.  It is time for us to reclaim the month of November in the name of Thanksgiving!  Who's with me?