Sometimes It Is Just "Merry Christmas"

I was born Jewish and married a Catholic and if you asked me what my beliefs are I'd tell you I am agnostic.  The time between Thanksgiving and New Years was always difficult for me growing up because Hanukkah is the Mets and Christmas is the Yankees.  If you're not familiar with the baseball analogy basically Hanukkah sucks and Christmas is in the playoffs every year.

I wish I was relevant

This will be my eighth Christmas this year, which means I spent 21 years dealing with the jealousy and anger of watching what seemed like the entire world celebrate something I was excluded from.  I hated Christmas commercials, music, lights, trees, etc.  If I was honest with myself I would've admitted that I really didn't hate all that, I just wanted all that for myself.

Feel the excitement!

You'd think I'd be all for the "Happy Holiday" sentiment that all are forced to say instead of "Merry Christmas" and sometimes I am, but sometimes it makes no fraking sense.  You see a commercial; the scene is a family room decked with garland and a beautiful glittering Christmas tree.  Stockings are lined perfectly above the fire place and a plate of cookies with a glass of milk are waiting for you know who.  After Dad gives Mom earrings (he went to Jared!) the commercial ends with "Happy Holidays".

It doesn't make any sense and it's stupid.  At that point just say "Merry Christmas" and lets move on to the next commercial.  Congrats to all the over sensitive pricks who made that possible, to those that complained to the point where shit that is really straight forward doesn't make any sense. 

You're fucking Santa!  You're clearly all about Christmas!

"Happy Holidays" makes sense when you're shopping because unless you're purchasing a Santa suit you really could be celebrating anything really.  It is a nice way to make sure no one is left out around this time of year.  The problem is now it has become the de facto phrase even when logic would tell you otherwise.

We are politically correct in this country to the point of absurdity.  Sometimes the proper thing to say is "Merry Christmas" and we should leave it at that. 

Occupy Occupy Wall Street

What is the endgame people?  At what point do we pack up the bags and signs and call it a day?  It wasn't so long ago that I completely agreed with what this movement represented and now I'm not so sure.

I sit here and read about the celebrations regarding the two month anniversary of the protests and I'm at a loss to find one thing that has changed since this began.  What exactly was supposed to change?  If you ask 25 people what Occupy Wall Street is about I'm willing to bet you'd get a good number of different answers.  Shit I'm not 100% I know what they're trying to do.

There is a noticeable lack of direction, though you may disagree with me on that.  The Tea Party are a bunch of fucking maniacs who compare Obama to Adolf Hitler but at least they had some direction.  I'd like to kick Palin in her cooter too but I digress.  You do realize that by Occupying Wall Street you're fucking over hard working honest people who are part of the 99% you're trying to represent, right?

There are no demands, there is no endgame, there is no battle plan.  Your lack of direction lose you credibility and supporters.  How can you protest without a clear concise message and direction for change?

I'm part of the 99% that doesn't want the current 99% representing me. 

Gobble Gobble Motherfucker

I like Christmas as much as the next guy that married into the holiday only to realize that it was 100x better than what he had been celebrating previously.  With that being said, I hate the fact that every year the Christmas season seems to start earlier and earlier.  I hate it even more so because of my love of Thanksgiving which is completely overshadowed by mistletoe and midgets in pointy shoes (elves if you want to be PC).

Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday, a holiday of good food, family and football. The only way you could possible dislike this holiday is if your ancestors were systematically slaughtered and relegated to reservations, but even on the first Thanksgiving we all got along, right?  Sadly, Thanksgiving seems to have been relegated to the Phantom Menace to Christmas' Empire Strikes Back, a sad prequel to awesomeness. 

When I was a child Christmas didn't get into full swing until the fat man bringing up the rear at the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade Ho Ho Ho'd.  Now I saw my first Christmas commercial November 1st.  It's too soon!  Every holiday must have its time in the sun.  How can we as a nation be so ready to overlook a holiday that encourages sitting on the couch with your pants undone, because you ate so much food, with a beer in your hand watching football? 

It is an outrage and I will not take this lying down.  It is time for us to reclaim the month of November in the name of Thanksgiving!  Who's with me?