After watching the movie Crank I originally was going to write a piece on the death of writing in movie making. I was going to say that a place must exist for movies like Crank because a sequel exists, meaning it must have brought in a good amount of money. I planned to further go on and say how I had to believe the script for Crank, if a script actually even existed, must have been written in the span of a few hours on a Big Mac box. However, I finally reached a point in my brainstorming when I realized movies like Crank exist for only one reason, today's generation sucks.
The generation I mean when I say "today" is the generation that has always had a cell phone, doesn't know what a floppy disc is, can't recall a time when the internet didn't exist and believe Katy Perry and Ke$ha make great songs. This generation that demands instantaneous gratification and have the attention span of fleas are the demographic that Hollywood panders to, which is why we get an "action" movie like Crank.
I say "action" because when I think of an actual action movie I think of Die Hard, Rambo, Indiana Jones, etc. I think of movies that are not just filled with action, stunts and excitement, but movies that actually have some sort of story. I've played video games that had more of a story than Crank.
I don't care that this makes me sound like an old man, because it is all true. Today's generation is responsible for Stephenie Meyer being a famous author, and yes I had to look up her name on IMDB and yes this is how I found out that she named her main character Bella Swan. Seriously though, this is all these damn kids fault.
Saturday, March 26, 2011
Saturday, January 8, 2011
Super Bowl or Bust
Rex Ryan has stated that the goal for him and the New York Jets is to win a Super Bowl. He said it right from the start, perhaps it was what made it so easy for us Jets fans to fall in love with him. This "Super Bowl or Bust" attitude has led to many chiding him for his bravado and even claiming that such talk is putting unnecessary pressure on his players. I couldn't disagree more.
I have been a Jets fan for as long as I can remember. I also remember a time when just finishing without a losing record was a time to celebrate. That isn't the case anymore. Rex Ryan has ushered in a new culture to the team and its fans. No longer is just finishing 8-8 or better a cause for celebration. No longer can we say that we don't care what the outcome of the playoff game is, we're just happy we made it. We want that trophy, we want what has eluded this organization for 41 years, and anything less would be failure.
I laugh when people say that this mentality is putting unnecessary pressure on the team. Since when is setting your eyes on the ultimate goal unnecessary pressure? I would be disappointed if any player on that team hasn't dreamed of hoisting the Lombardi Trophy. This is what it should be, as fans we should be upset if today's game against the Colts ends our season because being upset means we have finally had dreams of something greater for our Jets.
Win or lose I'll still love this team. I'll still watch all the games and I'll jump and thrash about my home. I expect them to beat the Colts and I believe they're good enough to win a Super Bowl. There is a new culture in place and it's finally Super Bowl or Bust.
I have been a Jets fan for as long as I can remember. I also remember a time when just finishing without a losing record was a time to celebrate. That isn't the case anymore. Rex Ryan has ushered in a new culture to the team and its fans. No longer is just finishing 8-8 or better a cause for celebration. No longer can we say that we don't care what the outcome of the playoff game is, we're just happy we made it. We want that trophy, we want what has eluded this organization for 41 years, and anything less would be failure.
I laugh when people say that this mentality is putting unnecessary pressure on the team. Since when is setting your eyes on the ultimate goal unnecessary pressure? I would be disappointed if any player on that team hasn't dreamed of hoisting the Lombardi Trophy. This is what it should be, as fans we should be upset if today's game against the Colts ends our season because being upset means we have finally had dreams of something greater for our Jets.
Win or lose I'll still love this team. I'll still watch all the games and I'll jump and thrash about my home. I expect them to beat the Colts and I believe they're good enough to win a Super Bowl. There is a new culture in place and it's finally Super Bowl or Bust.
Sunday, December 19, 2010
The "Real" Story of Christmas
It was a cold and stormy night in Bethlehem. The wind swept the snow around to near blizzard conditions. Joseph and Mary, tired and cold, searched for a place where Mary could rest and give birth to their first child. Thankfully they finally reached an Inn
The innkeeper informed the couple that there were no longer any rooms available. However, seeing the position they were in, he offered them his manger. The manger was dark and smelly, but it kept out a good deal of the snow and cold. To brighten up their surroundings, Joseph hung a few colored lights around and plugged the cord into the nearest outlet.
Around the same time, but much further off, three wise men were following the North Star on there way to greet their savior at his birth. The sleigh was being pulled through the frosty night by a collection of reindeer, one of which had a strawberry birthmark on his nose.
In the sleigh was Saint Nick, wearing his warmest red jumpsuit. His nose and cheeks were rosy, he said from the cold, others just assumed he was drinking again. Next to him was a living snowman with an ornate black top hat. He spent most of the ride trying to keep his hat in place with arms made from twigs. The third wise man was merely a young drummer boy. Since the sleigh did not have a working radio he was there to keep everyone entertained on their ride to see their savior.
Mary could tell that it was only a matter of time before the baby was born. To make her more comfortable Joseph cut down a nearby tree and placed it near the colored lights hoping that the smell of the fresh tree would replace the smell of animal dung. Shortly there after Mary gave birth. Joseph not seeing a hint of himself in the newborn child's face quickly admonished Mary for cheating on him. Thinking fast, she told him it was the son of God.
Soon the jingling of the sleigh bells could be heard throughout Bethlehem. Santa, Frosty and the little drummer boy arrived at the manger. They brought presents, music and good cheer. They went from room to room at the inn singing songs proclaiming the birth of the savior. They made a fire to keep warm and spent the rest of the evening drinking milk, eating cookies and telling scary ghost stories.
Merry Christmas!
The innkeeper informed the couple that there were no longer any rooms available. However, seeing the position they were in, he offered them his manger. The manger was dark and smelly, but it kept out a good deal of the snow and cold. To brighten up their surroundings, Joseph hung a few colored lights around and plugged the cord into the nearest outlet.
Around the same time, but much further off, three wise men were following the North Star on there way to greet their savior at his birth. The sleigh was being pulled through the frosty night by a collection of reindeer, one of which had a strawberry birthmark on his nose.
In the sleigh was Saint Nick, wearing his warmest red jumpsuit. His nose and cheeks were rosy, he said from the cold, others just assumed he was drinking again. Next to him was a living snowman with an ornate black top hat. He spent most of the ride trying to keep his hat in place with arms made from twigs. The third wise man was merely a young drummer boy. Since the sleigh did not have a working radio he was there to keep everyone entertained on their ride to see their savior.
Mary could tell that it was only a matter of time before the baby was born. To make her more comfortable Joseph cut down a nearby tree and placed it near the colored lights hoping that the smell of the fresh tree would replace the smell of animal dung. Shortly there after Mary gave birth. Joseph not seeing a hint of himself in the newborn child's face quickly admonished Mary for cheating on him. Thinking fast, she told him it was the son of God.
Soon the jingling of the sleigh bells could be heard throughout Bethlehem. Santa, Frosty and the little drummer boy arrived at the manger. They brought presents, music and good cheer. They went from room to room at the inn singing songs proclaiming the birth of the savior. They made a fire to keep warm and spent the rest of the evening drinking milk, eating cookies and telling scary ghost stories.
Merry Christmas!
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
Four Lokos, Darwinism & the Death of Acountability
Senator Charles Schumer (D-NY), after solving all other problems in the great state of New York, successfully turned his attention towards the banning of alcoholic beverages that contain caffeine, the most notable of these beverages is Four Loko. Four Loko, to put it bluntly, will fuck you up. I had one and I have to say it knocked me on my ass, however, I don't really see what the problem is with it.
Four Loko, like so many other things in this world, is fine if you don't act like an asshole. The problem being that too many people in this world act like assholes. Nine students from Central Washington University in Ellensburg, Washington (a university that only people who have attended Central Washington University have heard of) were hospitalized after drinking this devious beverage.
Not content with merely hospitalizing children, Four Loko went on to take a life. A Florida family is going to try to sue the devilish beverage company for the death of their 20 year old son. Their son, who was underage (as were the students at Central Washington University), drank at least three cans! What the fuck was he thinking?
This is Darwinism at its finest people. If you are dumb enough to chug three of these and put a loaded gun to your head, I'm not entirely sure what you'd add to society if you didn't kill yourself. And the fact that his parents are going to sue the makers of Four Loko is preposterous and another example of what is wrong with this country.
No one takes responsibility for their own actions anymore. Maybe Joe and Vicki Keiran should blame themselves for the fact that there son was an idiot, or maybe, and I know this will sound crazy, they should blame their son for being an idiot. Someone else is always at fault, aren't they? Tobacco companies gave me cancer, even though I've smoked since I was 15 and new the risks. KFC made me fat, even though I ate there every day knowing obviously that it isn't healthy. Starbucks made me burn my mouth because the HOT coffee I ordered was HOT!
I'd like to continue but I feel my blood pressure rising. Four Loko may come in colorful cans and various fruit flavors. They may have the equivalent of 6 beers and 2 cups of coffee. But these drinks aren't killing anyone. If you drink a few Four Lokos and take a swan dive off your roof you are doing society a favor by removing yourself from the gene pool...and it is your own damn fault.
Four Loko, like so many other things in this world, is fine if you don't act like an asshole. The problem being that too many people in this world act like assholes. Nine students from Central Washington University in Ellensburg, Washington (a university that only people who have attended Central Washington University have heard of) were hospitalized after drinking this devious beverage.
Not content with merely hospitalizing children, Four Loko went on to take a life. A Florida family is going to try to sue the devilish beverage company for the death of their 20 year old son. Their son, who was underage (as were the students at Central Washington University), drank at least three cans! What the fuck was he thinking?
This is Darwinism at its finest people. If you are dumb enough to chug three of these and put a loaded gun to your head, I'm not entirely sure what you'd add to society if you didn't kill yourself. And the fact that his parents are going to sue the makers of Four Loko is preposterous and another example of what is wrong with this country.
No one takes responsibility for their own actions anymore. Maybe Joe and Vicki Keiran should blame themselves for the fact that there son was an idiot, or maybe, and I know this will sound crazy, they should blame their son for being an idiot. Someone else is always at fault, aren't they? Tobacco companies gave me cancer, even though I've smoked since I was 15 and new the risks. KFC made me fat, even though I ate there every day knowing obviously that it isn't healthy. Starbucks made me burn my mouth because the HOT coffee I ordered was HOT!
I'd like to continue but I feel my blood pressure rising. Four Loko may come in colorful cans and various fruit flavors. They may have the equivalent of 6 beers and 2 cups of coffee. But these drinks aren't killing anyone. If you drink a few Four Lokos and take a swan dive off your roof you are doing society a favor by removing yourself from the gene pool...and it is your own damn fault.
Saturday, November 6, 2010
Same Old Jets?
Those of you who know me, know that I am a die-hard Jets fan. Though only 28, I have lived through a number of horrid seasons, players and coaches. I remember Ray Lucas, Glenn Foley, Rich Kotite and a promising season rupture with Testaverde's achilles heel. It is because of these reasons and more (damn you Doug Brien!) that after watching the Jets lose to the Packers I'm starting to get nervous.
The season started with a putrid 10-9 loss at home on MNF to the Ravens. It seemed as though the Jets preseason talk and bluster by Rex Ryan would amount to "...a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing". Thankfully that was not the case.
After the first game loss the Jets went on a five game winning streak, going 3-0 in division games in the process. They headed into the bye week on the top of the world, and admittedly, so did I. I live and die with this team, it is the reason why Panda (my dog) hides for the better part of Jets games. I stomp around the house hurling dog toys, throwing up obscenities and calculating what I can punch in my house that won't break my hand, leave a mark on the object, and/or break. However, the way they limped onto the field against the Packers has me worried.
Much like a pound dog you bring home may flinch when you raise your hand due to past abuse, so do Jets fans when they see their team lose in a particularly pathetic way. The fluke INTs (HOW CAN THAT BE AN INTERCEPTION WHEN THE RECEIVER IS DOWN!), stalled drives, poor play calling and more, have some Jets fans asking themselves "are these the same old Jets?".
I'd like to say I'm confident going into week 9. I'd like to say that I believe the Jets are going to come and and trash the Lions, thus restoring my faith in the team and this season. I'd like to say all that, but I can't. Every loss has me wondering when the next shoe will drop. I hope I'm wrong, I hope history does not repeat itself and I hope, most importantly, that these aren't the same old Jets.
The season started with a putrid 10-9 loss at home on MNF to the Ravens. It seemed as though the Jets preseason talk and bluster by Rex Ryan would amount to "...a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing". Thankfully that was not the case.
After the first game loss the Jets went on a five game winning streak, going 3-0 in division games in the process. They headed into the bye week on the top of the world, and admittedly, so did I. I live and die with this team, it is the reason why Panda (my dog) hides for the better part of Jets games. I stomp around the house hurling dog toys, throwing up obscenities and calculating what I can punch in my house that won't break my hand, leave a mark on the object, and/or break. However, the way they limped onto the field against the Packers has me worried.
Much like a pound dog you bring home may flinch when you raise your hand due to past abuse, so do Jets fans when they see their team lose in a particularly pathetic way. The fluke INTs (HOW CAN THAT BE AN INTERCEPTION WHEN THE RECEIVER IS DOWN!), stalled drives, poor play calling and more, have some Jets fans asking themselves "are these the same old Jets?".
I'd like to say I'm confident going into week 9. I'd like to say that I believe the Jets are going to come and and trash the Lions, thus restoring my faith in the team and this season. I'd like to say all that, but I can't. Every loss has me wondering when the next shoe will drop. I hope I'm wrong, I hope history does not repeat itself and I hope, most importantly, that these aren't the same old Jets.
Thursday, October 28, 2010
Top Gun 2
I just heard that Tony Scott is set to direct the sequel to the smash hit Top Gun. I'd like to throw my hat into the ring and provide Mr. Scott with a few ideas I had for Top Gun 2:Electric Boogalew.
Maverick (Tom Cruise) struggles with his sexuality while fighting Xenu for the necessary thetans to restore the woman he loves.
Iceman (Val Kilmer) is a fat and bloated shell of his former self. He lost his eyesight, but with the love and support of his girlfriend (Mira Sorvino) he gets an eye transplant and makes it his mission to get back into flying shape.
Goose (Anthony Edwards), living comfortably in heaven with the girl from the Lovely Bones, looks on in horror at the life his wife is leading (Meg Ryan). The unnecessary plastic surgery she gets in order to hold onto her fading youth is all the motivation he needs to contact Whoopi Goldberg to help him reach out to her from the great beyond.
Those are just a few ideas for now, but I'm sure I can think of more. We all know that the one thing this country needs right now is a 90 minute commercial for the air force. If you like what you read Mr. Scott, please don't hesitate to contact me!
Maverick (Tom Cruise) struggles with his sexuality while fighting Xenu for the necessary thetans to restore the woman he loves.
Iceman (Val Kilmer) is a fat and bloated shell of his former self. He lost his eyesight, but with the love and support of his girlfriend (Mira Sorvino) he gets an eye transplant and makes it his mission to get back into flying shape.
Goose (Anthony Edwards), living comfortably in heaven with the girl from the Lovely Bones, looks on in horror at the life his wife is leading (Meg Ryan). The unnecessary plastic surgery she gets in order to hold onto her fading youth is all the motivation he needs to contact Whoopi Goldberg to help him reach out to her from the great beyond.
Those are just a few ideas for now, but I'm sure I can think of more. We all know that the one thing this country needs right now is a 90 minute commercial for the air force. If you like what you read Mr. Scott, please don't hesitate to contact me!
Saturday, October 2, 2010
Smile, you're on candid camera!
I find myself having a hard time feeling any sympathy for the Rutgers Freshman who took a swan dive off the GWB. Suicide, regardless of the reasoning, is a cowardly and selfish act. I feel worse for his family then I do for him.
The reactionary world that we live in is working feverishly to point as many fingers possible at as many different people. The roommate, Rutgers, society, Glen Beck, the corpse of Tony Curtis. I happen to feel that, for whatever it is worth, that if his suicide was a reactionary response to the invasion of privacy and perhaps the embarrassment of the act, he would have probably killed himself closer to home.
You don't drive an hour through rush hour traffic to one of the busiest bridges in the world to kill yourself as a knee jerk reaction to one event. The people that video taped the kid are douche bags, I'm pretty sure we can all agree to that, but I sure hope they don't end up getting torn down over what amounts to a childish, idiotic, prank.
Can we all get back to more important matters now, like Boo-Gate?
The reactionary world that we live in is working feverishly to point as many fingers possible at as many different people. The roommate, Rutgers, society, Glen Beck, the corpse of Tony Curtis. I happen to feel that, for whatever it is worth, that if his suicide was a reactionary response to the invasion of privacy and perhaps the embarrassment of the act, he would have probably killed himself closer to home.
You don't drive an hour through rush hour traffic to one of the busiest bridges in the world to kill yourself as a knee jerk reaction to one event. The people that video taped the kid are douche bags, I'm pretty sure we can all agree to that, but I sure hope they don't end up getting torn down over what amounts to a childish, idiotic, prank.
Can we all get back to more important matters now, like Boo-Gate?
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