Senator Charles Schumer (D-NY), after solving all other problems in the great state of New York, successfully turned his attention towards the banning of alcoholic beverages that contain caffeine, the most notable of these beverages is Four Loko. Four Loko, to put it bluntly, will fuck you up. I had one and I have to say it knocked me on my ass, however, I don't really see what the problem is with it.
Four Loko, like so many other things in this world, is fine if you don't act like an asshole. The problem being that too many people in this world act like assholes. Nine students from Central Washington University in Ellensburg, Washington (a university that only people who have attended Central Washington University have heard of) were hospitalized after drinking this devious beverage.
Not content with merely hospitalizing children, Four Loko went on to take a life. A Florida family is going to try to sue the devilish beverage company for the death of their 20 year old son. Their son, who was underage (as were the students at Central Washington University), drank at least three cans! What the fuck was he thinking?
This is Darwinism at its finest people. If you are dumb enough to chug three of these and put a loaded gun to your head, I'm not entirely sure what you'd add to society if you didn't kill yourself. And the fact that his parents are going to sue the makers of Four Loko is preposterous and another example of what is wrong with this country.
No one takes responsibility for their own actions anymore. Maybe Joe and Vicki Keiran should blame themselves for the fact that there son was an idiot, or maybe, and I know this will sound crazy, they should blame their son for being an idiot. Someone else is always at fault, aren't they? Tobacco companies gave me cancer, even though I've smoked since I was 15 and new the risks. KFC made me fat, even though I ate there every day knowing obviously that it isn't healthy. Starbucks made me burn my mouth because the HOT coffee I ordered was HOT!
I'd like to continue but I feel my blood pressure rising. Four Loko may come in colorful cans and various fruit flavors. They may have the equivalent of 6 beers and 2 cups of coffee. But these drinks aren't killing anyone. If you drink a few Four Lokos and take a swan dive off your roof you are doing society a favor by removing yourself from the gene pool...and it is your own damn fault.
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
Saturday, November 6, 2010
Same Old Jets?
Those of you who know me, know that I am a die-hard Jets fan. Though only 28, I have lived through a number of horrid seasons, players and coaches. I remember Ray Lucas, Glenn Foley, Rich Kotite and a promising season rupture with Testaverde's achilles heel. It is because of these reasons and more (damn you Doug Brien!) that after watching the Jets lose to the Packers I'm starting to get nervous.
The season started with a putrid 10-9 loss at home on MNF to the Ravens. It seemed as though the Jets preseason talk and bluster by Rex Ryan would amount to "...a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing". Thankfully that was not the case.
After the first game loss the Jets went on a five game winning streak, going 3-0 in division games in the process. They headed into the bye week on the top of the world, and admittedly, so did I. I live and die with this team, it is the reason why Panda (my dog) hides for the better part of Jets games. I stomp around the house hurling dog toys, throwing up obscenities and calculating what I can punch in my house that won't break my hand, leave a mark on the object, and/or break. However, the way they limped onto the field against the Packers has me worried.
Much like a pound dog you bring home may flinch when you raise your hand due to past abuse, so do Jets fans when they see their team lose in a particularly pathetic way. The fluke INTs (HOW CAN THAT BE AN INTERCEPTION WHEN THE RECEIVER IS DOWN!), stalled drives, poor play calling and more, have some Jets fans asking themselves "are these the same old Jets?".
I'd like to say I'm confident going into week 9. I'd like to say that I believe the Jets are going to come and and trash the Lions, thus restoring my faith in the team and this season. I'd like to say all that, but I can't. Every loss has me wondering when the next shoe will drop. I hope I'm wrong, I hope history does not repeat itself and I hope, most importantly, that these aren't the same old Jets.
The season started with a putrid 10-9 loss at home on MNF to the Ravens. It seemed as though the Jets preseason talk and bluster by Rex Ryan would amount to "...a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing". Thankfully that was not the case.
After the first game loss the Jets went on a five game winning streak, going 3-0 in division games in the process. They headed into the bye week on the top of the world, and admittedly, so did I. I live and die with this team, it is the reason why Panda (my dog) hides for the better part of Jets games. I stomp around the house hurling dog toys, throwing up obscenities and calculating what I can punch in my house that won't break my hand, leave a mark on the object, and/or break. However, the way they limped onto the field against the Packers has me worried.
Much like a pound dog you bring home may flinch when you raise your hand due to past abuse, so do Jets fans when they see their team lose in a particularly pathetic way. The fluke INTs (HOW CAN THAT BE AN INTERCEPTION WHEN THE RECEIVER IS DOWN!), stalled drives, poor play calling and more, have some Jets fans asking themselves "are these the same old Jets?".
I'd like to say I'm confident going into week 9. I'd like to say that I believe the Jets are going to come and and trash the Lions, thus restoring my faith in the team and this season. I'd like to say all that, but I can't. Every loss has me wondering when the next shoe will drop. I hope I'm wrong, I hope history does not repeat itself and I hope, most importantly, that these aren't the same old Jets.
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